"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls."
listen well
If I am swift to speak, I prioritize myself and my own preconceived ideas. And if I prioritize myself and my ideas, I will more quickly become angry with others whose ideas or actions are contrary. I believe that being “quick to listen” can help us to become “slow to wrath”. What do you think? Are you quick to listen or quick to speak? Here are some keys to becoming a good listener[1]. (We could all use some practice!)
1. Eye Contact – shows genuine interest in the person and conversation
2. Be Present – people do notice if we are not really listening.
3. Think – about what is being said, not what you will say next
4. Listen for main ideas – value the person by valuing what they say
5. Wait –2 seconds to respond
6. Ask Questions – be sure you understand what is being said
7. Don’t Change the Subject –unless the discussion is finished
8. Give Feedback – both verbal and non-verbal. We listen with our ears and our face![2]
So let’s say I am having a conflict with someone. Can I be wrong even if I am right? Could my anger prod others into sin? It would be much more productive to really listen to the other person and really try to understand where they are coming from. I may still disagree, and that is okay. If it is a very serious matter, it is even more important to listen well: both to the person and to God. My words should pass through three gates before leaving my lips: 1) Are they true? 2) Are they necessary? 3) Are they kind?
How much attention do we give to the art of listening? I am realizing I have not been cultivating this skill, even though scripture often cites the importance of really hearing what is spoken. Truly listening is a wonderful way to love well. If I really listen to scripture, I will respond to it. If I really listen to the Holy Spirit in my heart and my conscience, I will respond to that. If I really listen to other people, they sense they are valued by me. And the results of really listening? Understanding is expanded, knowledge is increased, and love is more fully experienced.
Read and Pray: Matt. 11:14-21, Psalm 18:30
No comments:
Post a Comment